How to Deal with Difficult People Without Going Insane

By Bo Sanchez (click here to see full article)

It seems like everyone on the planet has a difficult person to strangle, er, I mean, to grapple with. Here are BIG 4 GIFTS you receive from difficult people.

Gift #1:

Difficult people can teach you how to love, preparing you for Heaven!

 

·        You learn to become more patient, more understanding, more persevering.

·        You have pity for them because you realize that “Hurt people hurt people”.

·        You learn to see the good qualities even among difficult people.

·        You learn how to be compassionate as God is compassionate.

·        You learn how to forgive, to remove bitterness from your heart.

 

Gift #2:

Difficult people can teach you to protect yourself and learn to say “No” to abuse.

 

·        You learn to love yourself, respect yourself, by no longer allowing abuse.

·        You learn to be courageous and stand up against bullies.

·     You learn to give tough love—refusing his abuse again. It may be the most loving thing you can do for a difficult person.

·        You wizen up, learn tact, and learn how to distance yourself from harmful people.

 

Gift #3:

Difficult people can help you get to know your weaknesses.

 

·        Difficult people remind you that you too could be difficult to others.

·        Difficult people teach you many important lessons in life. By seeing the tragic results of their actions, you’re inspired to do the very opposite of what they do.

 

Gift #4:

Difficult people can bring you closer to God.

 

·        Difficult people force you to pray a lot.(“Lord, help! I can’t take it anymore!”)

·        Difficult people force you to trust in God.(“Lord, I give up! I’ve done everything but she’s still a monster…”)

·        Praying for difficult people may not change them, but YOU will.

·        “Your cross (difficult person) is your key to heaven…” St. Poveda

·        You realize that YOU are God’s difficult person—yet you’re still loved by God!

 

Did I Marry the Right Person? by Bo Sanchez

I am not YET married. I don't have any idea what's it like to be married. But I believe what Bo Sanchez has to say. And so, I share to you, something married couples would like or need to know to keep their relationship going strong.

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During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?". I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?". In all seriousness, she answered, "How do you know?". Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer:

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?".

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.  This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

The Key To Succeeding In Marriage Is Not Finding The Right Person; It's Learning To Love The Person You Found!

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM.. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a decision, not just a feeling.